Listen, Stupid

Y'know what really grinds my gears?

Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail.

"But Joe, that's one of the funniest movies in the history of funny movies! All funny movies strive to be an eighth as funny as that film is! How can it grind your gears so?"

THAT MOVIE DOES NOT EXIST.

I repeat for you. THAT MOVIE DOES NOT EXIST.

The correct title of the film to which you are undoubtedly referring is Monty Python and the Holy Grail. There's no SEARCH involved. Just Monty Python, and the Holy Grail.

I hear people say this all the time and I never correct them. I see it written and I never comment on it. But I just came across it in a list of one of my friends' favorite movies.

IF IT'S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE, GET THE FUCKING TITLE RIGHT.

The Impossible Dream

When I was growing up, I had three dreams. In no particular order, they were:

1. Become an astronaut
2. Meet the President of the United States
3. Win an eBay auction and drive aimlessly around the country in a school bus with a total lunatic

Over the years, as I grew older and wiser, I gave up on those dreams. Short of a miracle or an act of God, they just seemed impossible. I never thought I would ever have the opportunity to fulfill any of them.

Ladies and gentlemen, I can tell you today that I was wrong.

The dream lives.

(I wonder where he got his tin-foil hat.)