Sunday, December 18, 2005

An open letter, in the Marowitz style.

To all the people who know me or see my apartment and think it's funny to tell me, "Joe, you're like the 40-year-old Virgin!",

Go fuck yourselves.

Joe Grunenwald

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Some phrases you should learn.

I hate people that butcher the English language. Admittedly, I probably notice it more than most people, being both an English major and a snob (And if you say they're the same thing...okay, fair point), but honestly, some of these things just aren't hard.

From Newsarama (abridged, so as to get to the point): "If you thought Newsarama’s series [...] ended [...], well, you got another thing coming... Another few things, actually."

Let's follow that sentence logically, shall we? If you thought...and you were wrong...that means you have another THINK coming. Not another THING. ANOTHER THINK. With a 'k'. THINK.

While we're at it, let's go over a few things.

"I could care less" means you still care a little. "I COULDN'T care less" means you don't care at all.
"A lot" is two words. "Alot" is not a word.
"'And remember, it's a dog EAT dog world out there; not a doggie dog one.'" - Casey McCall, SPORTS NIGHT

Everyone needs to learn how to speak correctly before I end up beating them senseless with a tire iron.

That's all.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Feed a family of twelve on Christmas day!

Just buy them a King Kong-sized Whopper from Burger King!

Ladies and gentleman, I am a tall man, a large man. I have a big head. I would not want to even think about trying to eat something as large as, or larger than, my own head. Knowing how large a regular Whopper is, I'm guessing that the Kong-sized Whopper is larger than my head.

And that is just scary.

Monday, December 5, 2005

With big, pointy teeth.

In Soviet Union, squirrel eats dog!

It's only a matter of time before they rise up here. We must plant more pine cone-bearing trees if we are to survive the coming onslaught.

Thanks to Amelia for this one.

Friday, December 2, 2005

Which superhero are you?

I never take these quiz things, but I had to do this one.

Your results:
You are Superman
Green Lantern
The Flash
Iron Man
Wonder Woman
You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.
Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...