tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13832490261129223912024-03-13T09:29:16.265-07:00Joe's Apartment ARCHIVEJoe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.comBlogger90125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-76212338364412949592010-08-16T09:20:00.000-07:002011-04-01T19:06:47.234-07:00Scott Pilgrim's Box Office Performance(or, Joe Grunenwald & The Infinite Sadness)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://chud.com/articles/content_images/24/scottpilgrim_vs_theworld.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 500px; height: 337px;" src="http://chud.com/articles/content_images/24/scottpilgrim_vs_theworld.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />So <span style="font-style:italic;">Scott Pilgrim vs. The World</span> came out this past weekend. While I have not been talking much about it (or, really, much of anything lately) here, I have been talking about it pretty much everywhere else possible, because I'm excited. I love the graphic novels, and the movie looked awesome, and when I saw it (at a preview screening on Tuesday evening), I was not disappointed. The film is FANTASTIC. The translation of the material from page to screen is perfect, but at the same time the movie isn't hindered by an adherence to the source material (something that, save for the changed ending, I found to be one of <span style="font-style:italic;">Watchmen</span>'s big problems). The performances are strong - Michael Cera is less Michael Cera-y than he usually is, Ellen Wong is perfect as Knives Chau, and Kieran Culkin steals every scene he's in as Wallace Wells - the fight scenes are extremely entertaining, and the style of the film is unlike anything I've ever seen before.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.shockya.com/news/wp-content/uploads/scott_ultimate.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 308px;" src="http://www.shockya.com/news/wp-content/uploads/scott_ultimate.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />So, naturally, it tanked. And I mean, HARD. To the tune of only making back 1/6th of its production budget in its first weekend. That sucks. That really, really sucks. And it makes me really sad.<br /><br />I feel sad for Edgar Wright. Watching <span style="font-style:italic;">Scott Pilgrim</span>, I got the feeling that Edgar Wright made exactly the movie he wanted to make. The movie is packed to the brim with pure creativity, and it flies off the screen, unable to contain itself, and it's wonderful. Wright is a fantastic director - Jennie and I watched <span style="font-style:italic;">Shaun of the Dead</span> again this past weekend, and I'd forgotten both how funny it is and what a great zombie movie it is - and the movie is by no means a creative failure, but to see it fail so grandly from a financial standpoint is really a letdown.<br /><br />I feel sad for the movie itself, because it is so entertaining and so well-done, and because not many people are probably going to see it. So I suppose I feel sad more for those people than for the movie itself. When I see something that is of such high quality as <span style="font-style:italic;">Scott Pilgrim</span>, I want everyone to see it, because everyone should see things that are high-quality. But given this movie's poor performance, who knows how long it will be in theaters for people to see. Sure, it will enjoy a long life on DVD (where it will almost assuredly attain cult classic status), but a large portion of the population - people who would probably really enjoy it - will probably never see it. And that's depressing.<br /><br />My hope for <span style="font-style:italic;">Scott Pilgrim</span> is that it gets a lot of strong word of mouth (on that front, I'm trying to do my part) and that people go see it in the coming weeks before it disappears from theaters completely. I know I'll definitely be seeing it at least once more. If you haven't seen it already, I highly recommend it. Between it and <span style="font-style:italic;">Inception</span>, there's a nice selection of highly creative movies out there right now.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.toy-tma.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Scott-Pilgrim-The-Power-of-Friends.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 500px; height: 280px;" src="http://www.toy-tma.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Scott-Pilgrim-The-Power-of-Friends.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Or, I guess, if you like explosions, you could go see <span style="font-style:italic;">The Expendables</span>. Whatever makes you happy.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-7156698854949576782010-07-20T10:51:00.000-07:002011-04-01T19:06:47.237-07:00I'm a slacker. Here's a quick catch-up.I'd just like to run down a short list of events that happened between my last post and this post:<br /><br />- I moved in with Jennie and it was awesome<br />- A bunch of great movies came out (Iron Man 2, Inception, other movies that begin with the letter 'I')<br />- There was an oil spill and it sucked (not my fault, I swear)<br />- Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour came out (last night!)<br />- I read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban<br />- I took a work trip to Florida, where I read Ender's Game instead of working<br />- I wrote very little, but what I did was pretty quality<br />- Speaking of which, I wrote and drew my first 8-page mini-comic, and actually managed to sell some to people that I did not know<br />- I went to Big Fun, an awesome toy store in Cleveland<br />- Jennie and I watched seasons 2-4 of Buffy and season 1 of Angel<br />- Some other stuff that I can't think of.<br /><br />And here's a list of things that are coming up:<br /><br />- I'm going to a bunch of weddings for some good friends<br />- Then I'm getting married myself<br />- But not before I see Scott Pilgrim vs. The World on opening night (and probably some other movies, too)<br />- Wedding invitations will be mailed soon<br />- Jennie and I will finish Buffy and Angel<br />- Some other stuff that I don't know about yet.<br /><br />So, in case I don't post for a long time again, at least you'll have something to hold you over, hopefully.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-60124625476840336082010-03-12T07:57:00.000-08:002011-04-01T19:06:47.239-07:00If pride is a deadly sin, consider me a deadly sinner.Once again, I'm doing <a href="http://bonsoircanard.blogspot.com/2010/03/phone-it-in-friday-i-love-my-dead-gay.html">what The Collective tells me to do</a> and writing about things that I am proud of. Buckle up, suckers!<br /><br />I'm proud of the screenplay that I wrote in college. I set out to write this movie that my friends and I were going to make. It was an action/comedy/parody/funtime about a guy called Rex Driver. My friend Jason (of <a href="http://buyerbeware.guttertrash.net/">Buyer Beware Comics</a>) was going to play 'I live by no one's rules but my own' loose cannon Rex Driver, and I was going to play his begrudging partner, the earnest FBI man, Agent Mark Chase. It was going to be spectacular, and it would spawn a series of spin-off movies, a TV show, several comic anthologies, and action figures (of course). I wrote the screenplay during the summer between my last two semesters of college, first as part of a screenwriting class and then just to finish it. Nothing has ever come of it - I've contemplated revising it and turning it into a graphic novel, but haven't gotten to that yet - but I am extremely proud of the 130 pages that I wrote, and of the fact that I finished it, unlike the dozens (hundreds?) of other things that I've started and never finished.<br /><br />I'm proud of how much I've grown in the past ten years. I think of how I was at the end of high school and it appalls me. And I thought that was normal! What was I even doing? I was spiraling downward into oblivion is what I was doing, and I knew it at the time but I couldn't get out. And then something changed. I don't even know what it was. It's like I was a car on ice, spinning wildly, and then the ice thinned and my tires found traction again, and I don't know how but I am so glad that they did. My life is better now than it has ever been for a lot of reasons. I've been able to learn from my mistakes without regretting their existence, which I'm wildly proud of. So yeah. Sorry if it got heavy for a minute there. I'll follow up with some lightness, don't worry.<br /><br />The thing I am the most proud of, I think, is the amount of useless comic book trivia I know. I know, that may not seem like something to be proud of, but do you have any idea how many comics I've read? The number is very, very high. I've been reading them since I was 6, and I've got a lot of trivia stored up in my brain. When my comic book nerd friends have questions about stuff, they ask me about it. I was once able to identify an issue of Uncanny X-Men based on a vague description of what was on the cover. Conversely, when I worked at Mavericks (my local comic store!), the aforementioned Jason and I would play a game where he would pick a random Batman or Superman comic out of a box (it had to be a post-1986 issue, as that's the stuff I grew up on) and he would give me the issue number, and I would describe, from memory, what was on the cover. My ability to do this has extended to Flash comics, and now reaches back into the '50s. Go ahead, look one up and rattle off the issue number. I might be a little rusty, but I'll give it a go. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but...well, I'm proud of my vast nerd knowledge. Some people may call it a sickness. I call it <span style="font-style:italic;">fucking awesome.</span><br /><br />That's just a few things I'm proud of. I'll try to think of more. Oh, and I'm proud of my kick-ass toy collection, too.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3517/3778128887_e0fb64b071.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 500px; height: 375px;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3517/3778128887_e0fb64b071.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />(I'll pretty much take any opportunity to post pictures of my toys.)Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-20534431388152850852010-03-02T11:47:00.000-08:002011-04-01T19:06:47.241-07:00On The Land Before TimeWhen I was in preschool, <span style="font-style:italic;">The Land Before Time</span> was THE SHIT. It was, if memory serves, the biggest movie that had ever come out ever, at least to my five-year-old mind. The thing was, I didn't really have all that much interest in it.<br /><br />Until all of my friends started talking about it. They talked about how amazing it was. They described all of the characters, and I didn't get it when the girls in my class kept saying "Yep yep yep!" They were all scared of Sharptooth, but that just made him the coolest of all of them (we were boys, after all). And most of all, whenever I told them I hadn't seen it, they <span style="font-style:italic;">implored </span>me to see it.<br /><br />I caved. I suddenly really wanted to see it. You have to remember that this was 1988, a year before Tim Burton's <span style="font-style:italic;">Batman </span>was released and I learned what it was like to really, truly want to see a movie. As far as 5-year-old me was concerned, <span style="font-style:italic;">The Land Before Time</span> must surely be the be-all and end-all of movies, and I knew this because all of my friends had told me so. I begged my parents to take me. Begged. And they wouldn't have it. Which, of course, meant that I would just beg even more and even more incessantly.<br /><br />Then, one Saturday, they had a surprise planned for me. They were going to take me to see <span style="font-style:italic;">The Land Before Time</span>. A joyful day for Joe, right? Well, not really, at that point. For some reason, I didn't want to see it anymore. I think, looking back on it, that the peer pressure that had made me want to see it to begin with had worn off. So when my parents told me that they were taking me to see it, I cried - <span style="font-style:italic;">cried </span>- with not wanting to see it.<br /><br />Boy, did I get in trouble that day.<br /><br />Twenty-two years later, Jennie and I watched <span style="font-style:italic;">The Land Before Time</span>. She was shocked that I'd never seen it, and I was pretty excited. And it was a decent, if not really, really short, movie. But I'll never be able to think of that movie without first thinking of what a total brat I was as a five-year-old. I can only imagine - and probably apologize for - how I was for <span style="font-style:italic;">Batman</span>.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-55812969388101430812010-02-05T03:05:00.000-08:002011-04-01T19:06:47.244-07:00The Five Worst Fathers on LOSTIt's "Five Worst" Week over on <a href="http://bonsoircanard.blogspot.com">The Collective</a>, so I thought I'd join in. Yeah, I pretty much exclusively write blog posts that are based on Collective topics anymore. They pick good topics and they tell me what to think, so why shouldn't I? Back off with your judgment! With that, I give you...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Five Worst Fathers on <span style="font-style:italic;">Lost</span></span><br /><br />J.J. Abrams clearly has daddy issues. I haven't seen a lot of the show, but I can tell you that Sydney and her father didn't exactly have the best relationship on <span style="font-style:italic;">Alias</span>. Spock and his father got along alright in <span style="font-style:italic;">Star Trek</span>, but only in their shared appreciation of logic - when it came to emotion, Spock appreciated it while his father saw it as a problem to be overcome. Those scenarios are nothing compared to the relationships between fathers and children on <span style="font-style:italic;">Lost</span>. Read on to find out just how horrible the paternal units on this show really are.<br /><br />*Also note that there are big spoilers in this post. If you haven't watched <span style="font-style:italic;">Lost </span>at all and you plan to at some point, maybe think about not reading this. Not that I don't want you to read. I just don't want to hurt your feelings.*<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Honorable Mention: David Reyes</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://z.about.com/d/lost/1/0/N/Q/-/-/dad.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 354px; height: 500px;" src="http://z.about.com/d/lost/1/0/N/Q/-/-/dad.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Hurley's father may be cool now, but he wasn't always. When Hugo was just a kid, dear old dad told Hugo he was running to the store and then never came back. That is, until Hugo won the lottery, then surprise! Dad's back! Hugo and his father have since reconciled, but that doesn't change the fact that when Hurley was a kid his dad totally bailed on him.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">5: Mr. Ford</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__vxruj5ril4/S2rkrAN8jDI/AAAAAAAAABc/NrmwuBSdgQE/s1600-h/Sawyer%27s+dad.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 218px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__vxruj5ril4/S2rkrAN8jDI/AAAAAAAAABc/NrmwuBSdgQE/s320/Sawyer%27s+dad.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5434407327819926578" /></a><br />As far as I can tell, Sawyer's father doesn't have a first name. He's not around long enough to be given one, really. The most he's ever been shown on the show is as a set of feet. James Ford was just a kid when his parents were swindled by a man calling himself "Tom Sawyer." After having lost everything to this man, James's father came home one day in a rage. His mother rushed to protect the young James, advising him to hide under his bed before going out to confront his father. It was then that Mr. Ford killed his wife, then came into the room where James was hiding, sat down on the bed, and shot himself, leaving James all alone to plot revenge against Tom Sawyer. His revenge would come much later, but we'll come back to that.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">4: Michael Dawson</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/media/L/lost/michael.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 353px; height: 564px;" src="http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/media/L/lost/michael.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />His shining moment was watching helplessly as his son, Walt, was kidnapped. Okay, not really. His shining moment was murdering Ana Lucia and Libby in order to free Ben and thus (hopefully) get his son back. That's the most monumental of his fuck-ups, really, but it's indicative of a larger problem. From the start, Michael just didn't know how to be a father. He was protective of Walt, but overly so to the point of just looking like a jerk. He forbade Walt from talking to Locke, who was teaching the boy valuable survival skills. And then, when Walt was kidnapped, he went about rescuing him the only way he knew how: by doing stupid shit like agreeing to help the Others save Ben from the castaways. Sure, it got he and Walt off the island, but at what price, Michael? Libby. That's what price.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">3: Christian Shepard</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tvmedia.ign.com/tv/image/article/964/964856/lost-ChristianShephard2_200_1237581028.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 214px;" src="http://tvmedia.ign.com/tv/image/article/964/964856/lost-ChristianShephard2_200_1237581028.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />With a name like that, he's got to be a good guy, right? Well, Christian's not exactly a bad guy, but he's sure not a model father, either. Christian was never as supportive of Jack as he could have been. Sure, he taught Jack that 'take a deep breath and count to five' thing, but not before totally undermining Jack's abilities during his first major surgery. Jack could never live up to the monumentally high expectations that his father set for him. Later, Christian attempted to perform surgery while drunk, and lost his job as a result of Jack ratting him out. Sure, Christian was proud of Jack for telling on him, but he never said as much to Jack's face. And then he died, and Jack had to cart his body back to the U.S. from Australia on a flight that just so happened to crash on a mysterious island. Jack is only there because his father was a dick. Way to go, Christian. Oh, BTW, you're Claire's father, too, even though she never knew you. And you totally banged Ana Lucia. Creepy old guy.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">2: Wayne Jansen</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__vxruj5ril4/S2rjHJ_EN8I/AAAAAAAAABU/Jb3rmRQxdqg/s1600-h/kate%27s+dad.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 253px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__vxruj5ril4/S2rjHJ_EN8I/AAAAAAAAABU/Jb3rmRQxdqg/s320/kate%27s+dad.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5434405612454950850" /></a><br />Wayne Jansen is better known as Kate's father. Sure, she was raised by Sgt. Sam Austen, but he's not her bio-dad. That honor belongs to this bastard, who knocked up Kate's mother (presumably she was cheating on her husband with him) and then let the kid be raised by some other guy. Way to be a deadbeat dad, Wayne. Later, Kate's parents got a divorce, and her mom married old Wayne here. He beat the crap out of Kate's mom on a regular basis, to the point that Kate eventually blew up Wayne's house - with Wayne inside. But not before a drunk Wayne tried to hit on Kate. Classy until the very end, sir. Another honorable 'bad parenting' mention goes to Kate's mom, who turned in her own daughter for the murder.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">1: Anthony Cooper</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://lostfan.today.com/files/2008/12/250px-locke_dad.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 250px; height: 333px;" src="http://lostfan.today.com/files/2008/12/250px-locke_dad.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />In real life, Anthony Ashley-Cooper was a mentor to John Locke. On <span style="font-style:italic;">Lost</span>, however, Anthony Cooper is the worst father you could ever hope for, and probably the worst person to ever appear on the show. Cooper always knew he had a son, but never bothered to find him and was content to have the boy put up for adoption. That boy grew up into John Locke, all-around sweetheart of a guy. In the meantime, Cooper, who was a fairly successful con man, had adopted the name of Tom Sawyer and used it to swindle poor James Ford's parents out of all of their money. That's right. Anthony Cooper is responsible for Sawyer's parents' deaths.<br /><br />Years later, Anthony Cooper learned that he was sick. He needed a kidney in order to survive. So he tracked down his son. He manipulated Locke into starting a father/son relationship with him. He broke the news that he needed a kidney so that Locke would donate one of his. And after the surgery was completed, while Locke was still under anesthesia, Cooper took off. No note, nothing. He literally stole Locke's kidney and then just left. But that's not the biggest of his dick moves. No, that came when Locke, who continued to hound Cooper, tried to break up another of the old man's cons. So Cooper pushed him out of an eight-story building. To recap: fathered Locke and then left him; caused the orphaning of Sawyer; stole Locke's kidney; pushed Locke out of a window. He got his comeuppance when the Others kidnapped him and brought him to the island so that Locke could kill him. Locke didn't do it, but Sawyer did. Still, though, this guy did a lot of damage in his time. Is it possible that he's the worst father to ever appear on TV? I really think so.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-58300440137365211622010-01-25T06:28:00.000-08:002011-04-01T19:06:47.246-07:00I dream in 2.35:1I had a dream last night that was totally crazy. I will tell you the details of the dream in the order that I remember them occurring in the dream.<br /><br />For starters, I lived in a hidden apartment in the back of an elevator shaft. I lived there with my parents and younger brother (note: they were not my real parents, and I do not have a younger brother). It was sort of like a hidey-hole, with a few smaller rooms and a really low ceiling. The building that the apartment was in was some sort of retail store on the ground floor, with apartments on the upper floors. There was a girl on one of the upper floors that my younger brother had a crush on. We would see her near the elevator and I would rib him about it. And then we would wait for the elevator to go by and then climb down into the shaft and open the doors to your apartment. It was bizarre.<br /><br />Anyway, at one point in the dream I went out of the apartment and out into the store and got geared up to go out and be a police officer, because apparently I was a police officer, and the police headquarters was a part of this store. I put on all of this bulky stuff that made me twice as tall and muscly as I really was in the dream, so that I sort of looked like a really awkward-moving body builder. And then I went out in search of drug dealers and such to bust up.<br /><br />At this point, the dreaming me realized that the dream-world me was in some weird variation of the plot of <span style="font-style:italic;">The Terminator</span>. Don't ask me what made me realize this, because obviously what I've just described has nothing to do with <span style="font-style:italic;">The Terminator</span> at all, but I just knew that's what was going to happen: I was going to go out and encounter this unstoppable killing machine that looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger. And that is exactly what happened. I was out busting up drug dealers and such in my mecha-esque gear when I encountered a Terminator. Well, I didn't encounter it, but I knew it was there and that it was coming for me. I spent the next 20 minutes or so running and trying to find a hiding place from this thing. The number of dreams that I have in which I am running and hiding from scary things is inordinately high (I once had a dream that The Joker was chasing me through Gotham for one reason or another - the last thing I remember about that dream is hiding in the corner of a friend's apartment while The Joker slaughters people looking for me. It was traumatic). Does anyone know if this is some sort of a common dream scenario?<br /><br />Anyway. At one point I ditched the weird techie gear I was wearing and, somehow eluding the Terminator, I took off back to the police headquarters/big box store. Somehow on the way back there I managed to interview witnesses who had seen the Terminator and identified what it was wearing and what it looked like (it was wearing cowboy boots and jeans, among other things that I don't remember exactly). I went to the dispatch and asked her to patch me through to my partner and fellow lawpeople so that I could let them know to be on the lookout for the Terminator, and meanwhile as I'm there I'm still hiding from this thing because who knows if it's coming for me. Then, as I'm hiding, these crime boss-looking guys come in in their fancy suits and well-kept hair and what-not, and they drop a bundle of money on the desk in front of the dispatch (who is now apparently my boss) and tell her that this is a payoff of $600,000 so that they can do whatever they want. My boss starts to protest this when the Terminator arrives. He shoots the crime bosses and I take off running again, leaving my boss to who knows what terrible fate.<br /><br />I run home. The apartment I live in is basically a hole in the wall behind an elevator. Who would think to look there? Certainly not the Terminator, I think, or at least I hope. So I get to the apartment and I seal up the entrance (which is basically a set of sliding elevator doors that meet in the middle) and I sit there next to it and I'm shaking. My family is there and they're freaking out and I don't remember if I tell them anything or not but the whole thing is very tense. And then something starts pounding on the door. The Terminator manages to bust a fist through the door. And that's when I woke up.<br /><br />Seriously. What the hell? I haven't watched or even really thought about a Terminator movie since <span style="font-style:italic;">Salvation </span>came out last Summer, and this dream bore more of a resemblance to the original Terminator movie than that one. It was like some weird cross between <span style="font-style:italic;">The Terminator</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">RoboCop</span>. My favorite part was definitely the apartment in the back of the elevator shaft, though. That was pretty weird.<br /><br />So what does it mean? Maybe I just watch too many movies.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-32554484872539245872010-01-22T07:29:00.000-08:002011-04-01T19:06:47.248-07:00Guilty Pleasure FridayOver on <a href="http://bonsoircanard.blogspot.com">The Collective</a> (where I am routinely told what to think and how to think it), they've been talking about guilty pleasures this week. Rather than simply post a comment there today, I thought I would share some with you, the loyal and/or occasional reader. So here they are, in no particular order.<br /><br />1. <span style="font-style:italic;">Gilmore Girls</span>. 'But Joe, that's a girl show!' Shut it, ass. They talk fast, they make obscure pop culture references, and Lauren Graham is one of them. There was never any doubt that I would love this show. I watched the first two seasons on DVD, and became so invested in the characters that when I disagreed with their life choices at the end of season two I vowed never to watch again. And I haven't. Yet. It's really only a matter of time.<br /><br />2. System of a Down. I go back and forth on thinking that these guys are actually a good band and thinking they're awful, but no matter if they're good or bad I still really like them. I will rock that shit out. I can't listen to them at work because when I do it looks like I'm having a seizure, I rock out to this band so hard. Or I would imagine that that's what it looks like.<br /><br />3. Flatulence noises. I'm not talking about actual flatulence, I'm talking about the sound of it. Yes, it's childish, but it's also fucking hilarious. A well-placed farty noise is always welcome as far as I'm concerned.<br /><br />4. The <span style="font-style:italic;">Star Wars</span> prequels. Yes, I know the dialogue is awful and the acting is wooden. But did you see all those Jedi? And Darth Maul was so cool! Lightsaber fights just work on me. Don't you dare judge me.<br /><br />5. Superhero action figures. Heh, just kidding, I don't feel guilty about this at all. Just <span style="font-style:italic;">try </span>and feel guilty when you've got this sweet-ass display in your apartment!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3450/3778126879_4dd1c4701e.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 375px; height: 500px;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3450/3778126879_4dd1c4701e.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />I know, right? Amazing. You hear that, grade school bullies? Your asshattery towards me has worn off! I hardly ever wake up crying anymore!<br /><br />Those are just a few of the many, many guilty pleasures that I have. What are some of yours, dear reader?Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-41295992418528135332010-01-14T11:31:00.000-08:002011-04-01T19:06:47.251-07:00On Comics' "Big Events"I love superheroes. I have since I was little. I don't know what it is about them that I liked when I was younger, but as I've grown up I've become attached to the characters. Which is why what I have to say next is so difficult: I might be done with them.<br /><br />Well, not superheroes as a genre, but the big two superhero publishers, DC Comics and Marvel Comics. For the better part of twenty years, mainstream comics publishing has functioned under a 'big event' structure, wherein once (or sometimes more than once) a year there is some sort of company-wide crossover that affects all of the books that company publishes, and if you want to understand what's going on/follow the story you have to buy the main event comic plus a bunch of ancillary tie-ins that may or may not really matter in the grand scheme of things. And usually, as a result of these big events, the publisher makes a bunch of money. That's just how it works.<br /><br />It wasn't so bad ten years ago. Ten years ago there was *just* the event series and *just* the few tie-ins, and for the other six or seven months a year comics were independent of each other. That all changed around 2004 (I think it was 2004). DC Comics took the idea of a shared universe in which all of the titles coexist with each other - and idea that I absolutely love - and started actually doing something with it, which led to the countdown to <span style="font-style:italic;">Infinite Crisis</span>. The countdown lasted for six months, and I have to admit, I lapped it up. The writing was FANTASTIC, the stories compelling, and it was all leading towards this one series that would resolve everything. I was hooked. And then <span style="font-style:italic;">Infinite Crisis</span> hit, and it was a huge disappointment. I didn't realize what a disappointment it was until it was all over. Sure, some of the pictures were pretty, but nothing happened in the story. At all. Then came <span style="font-style:italic;">52</span>, DC's weekly series, which was brilliant. And then, immediately after 52 ended, <span style="font-style:italic;">Countdown to Final Crisis</span> began. And it was awful. Then <span style="font-style:italic;">Final Crisis</span> itself, which was pretty cool, if not nearly incomprehensible. And now, right now, DC Comics is in the middle of <span style="font-style:italic;">Blackest Night</span>. But wait, after Blackest Night, they're starting another, bi-weekly series called <span style="font-style:italic;">Brightest Day</span>. Which, I'm sure, will lead into the next big event.<br /><br />The past six years of DC Comics has been one long event. And that's just DC! Marvel saw DC's success with <span style="font-style:italic;">Infinite Crisis</span>, and they've followed suit, with <span style="font-style:italic;">Secret Invasion</span> and the current Dark Reign/<span style="font-style:italic;">Siege </span>storyline.<br /><br />It occurred to me earlier, as I looked at the teaser image for <span style="font-style:italic;">Brightest Day</span>, the hard truth of the situation: it's never, ever going to end. Event will string into event, which will lead to the next event, and so on and so forth for the rest of my comics-reading life. And I just don't care to keep up with it anymore. Especially when the events are <span style="font-style:italic;">boring</span>. Sure, <span style="font-style:italic;">Blackest Night</span> might seem like a fanboy's wet dream, but nothing has happened. <span style="font-style:italic;">Nothing</span>. And it's been six issues. They have two issues to wrap everything up, and I'm already fairly convinced that this would have been MUCH better as a four-issue series. I just can't take this anymore.<br /><br />There are plenty of other books out there to read, from plenty of publishers, but DC and Marvel just make me tired anymore. I want a story to end at some point, not just springboard into the next big story. I know that's how an ongoing series has to work, but until the quality improves, I'm out. I've already dropped most Marvel books, and I'm pretty close to following suit with DC (I was already leaning that way now that Barry Allen is back as The Flash, but that as a topic for another ranting post). I'll miss the heroes that I've grown up with and come to love, and I'm sure I'll check in on them from time to time, but it's over.<br /><br />Sorry, superhero comics. I think we should just be friends.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-70255040347286941202010-01-05T08:11:00.000-08:002011-04-01T19:06:47.253-07:00Prediction:There will be multiple timelines in the new season of LOST. Not multiple time periods, multiple timelines.<br /><br />Discuss.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-75438710095955177132009-12-31T08:23:00.000-08:002011-04-01T19:06:47.255-07:00On 2009<span style="font-style:italic;">A reflection on the year gone by, in list form.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Things I liked about 2009:</span><br />- went the first 10 months of the year without using an alarm clock<br />- rediscovered the joy (and agony) of daytime television<br />- got my foot in the door of the freelance writing and editing world<br />- didn't go totally broke in the process<br />- somehow managed to find a full-time job that pays well<br />- proposed to the girl of my dreams<br />- received a 'yes' answer to said proposal<br />- had a kickass Christmas filled with family, friends, and Beatles Rock Band<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Things I was disappointed by in 2009:</span><br />- didn't write as much as I would have liked<br />- didn't stick to the dietary changes I made in the early part of the year<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Things I look forward to and/or plan to do in 2010:</span><br />- getting married<br />- losing at least 60 pounds<br />- spending more time writing<br /><br />I don't really have any complaints about 2009. I still sort of can't believe it's almost over. Here's hoping 2010 is just as great. Cheers, everybody.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-68582079742648176492009-11-24T16:00:00.000-08:002011-04-01T19:06:47.257-07:00This blows my mind.<object width="512" height="296"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/sling/http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Esling%2Ecom%2Fvideo%2Fshow%2F240084%2F18%2FNeil%2DYoung%2DSings%2DFresh%2DPrince/embed/w4EZaegvmesVfemAiKHObw"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/sling/http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Esling%2Ecom%2Fvideo%2Fshow%2F240084%2F18%2FNeil%2DYoung%2DSings%2DFresh%2DPrince/embed/w4EZaegvmesVfemAiKHObw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="512" height="296" allowFullScreen="true"></embed></object><br /><br />When I read about this, I figured it would be mildly amusing. But no. I am not amused by this. In fact? It gives me the fucking creeps. You know I bet there were people in the audience who did not realize that that was not Neil Young. Without the video, I probably would not have known it wasn't him, either.<br /><br />Bravo, Jimmy Fallon. Your second career as a Neil Young cover band awaits you.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-37731239598698706672009-11-24T06:10:00.000-08:002011-04-01T19:06:47.260-07:00Thanksgiving: Contributing to Obesity Since 1621As you know, Thanksgiving is this week. And even if you didn't know it, chances are someone has told you about it. Or, even if they didn't tell you specifically about Thanksgiving, they told you about the main focus of the holiday. No, it's not being thankful for all of the good things in your life or any of that nonsense: it's food. Or, more specifically, gorging yourself on delicious, delicious food. I listen to NPR in the morning while I'm getting ready for work, and then some more while I'm on my way to work, and I heard no fewer than two stories about food this morning. The first story was about 'traditional' Thanksgiving deserts (most of which sounded disgusting, except for the skillet apple pie, which sounded amazing), and it was a pretty fun story. You can listen to that one <a href="http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=120458751">here</a>. The second was about how Thanksgiving is celebrated by immigrants to America. The person interviewed is the chef at a Greek restaurant in New York, and he talked about how his family would always eat Greek food at Thanksgiving, and how he has carried that tradition on with his own children and wife. His wife is Italian, and their Thanksgiving dinner is a mixture of Greek and Italian foods, and it sounds awesome. You can listen to that story <a href="http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=120738560">here</a>.<br /><br />The idea of eating cultural food during Thanksgiving is somewhat foreign to me. For as long as I can remember Thanksgiving dinner has been the following: turkey, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie, and other things that I can't think of at the moment, but those are the standouts in my mind. To me, those things are entwined with Thanksgiving. It's not Thanksgiving without those things, and whenever I have those things in another setting I always think of Thanksgiving (mostly the sweet potatoes and the pumpkin pie - if I thought of Thanksgiving every time I made myself a turkey sandwich, I would be thinking about Thanksgiving a lot of the time). The thought of throwing lamb and other things into the mix just seems odd. It also sort of makes me wish that my family did it, too.<br /><br />What are you planning to eat this year? Regardless of what it is, happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy the delicious, delicious food.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-86614765468301056682009-10-30T07:22:00.000-07:002011-04-01T19:06:47.262-07:00"You're embarrassing me in front of my fancy band."The quote above is from one Mr. Ben Folds. He's what the kids today call a "musician," former member/leader (by virtue of his name being in the band name) of Ben Folds Five, producer of Bill Shatner, Amanda Palmer, and Weird Al Yankovic, and all-around nerd icon. At least to me, he is. Ben Folds is kind of my favorite musician ever. There are others whom I really like, and whose music I may even think is better than Ben's, but he's still my favorite. His lyrics are playful and sometimes thought-provoking, and his piano skills are incredible. Plus, he puts on an amazing live show. He's not just out there to play songs - he's there to entertain his audience, and he does it perfectly, from the stories he tells between songs to his use of audience participation. I mean, what other musician are you going to see who has the audience since in three-part harmony? I've yet to find another one. These are just some of the reasons that I love Ben Folds.<br /><br />Last week Jennie and I saw Ben perform with the Columbus Symphony. I'd seen the DVD of his performance with the Western Australian Symphony, so I had an idea of what to expect, but nothing could've prepared me. It. Was. AMAZING. The orchestra provided a fullness to the songs that I didn't even realize was missing from the shows I'd been to with just Ben and his piano. Songs like "Zak and Sara," "Effington," or "Stephen's Last Night in Town" were lighter and more playful than they already were, whereas others like "The Ascent of Stan" or "Brick" seemed to carry an extra layer of pathos. Many of the songs gave me chills, and, while I'd heard a version of the song with strings before, hearing "Smoke" live with the orchestra actually made me cry. Either I'm just that lame, or it was just <em>that good</em>.<br /><br />I'd heard other bands perform with symphony orchestras before. Most notably for me was Metallica's album, S&M, on which they performed live with the San Francisco Symphony. While the album is excellent, there is a DVD of the performance, and you can isolate the symphony from the rest of the band. Doing this reveals that, for the most part, the orchestra just sits there while Metallica plays their songs. Sure, there are flourishes of notes here or there, but they're basically accompaniment to the band. I had that in mind going in, and it was an incredible experience to hear the orchestra, as Ben described it, actually act <em>as</em> the band. If you have the opportunity to see a performance like this, I highly recommend it.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Z8jW2qHnqrI&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Z8jW2qHnqrI&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-24409064879971484622009-10-15T14:50:00.000-07:002011-04-01T19:06:47.263-07:00Dear Current LoveThere's nothing I can say here that can even begin to describe how I feel about you. I love that we laugh at the same stupid things. I love that we like the same music, the same books, the same TV shows, and that we get the same pop culture references. I love that we think of the same things at the same times, and that I never have to explain anything to you because chances are really good that you already know what I'm talking about. I love that we grew up blocks away from each other, so we already know all of the same places and neighborhoods. I love how instantly comfortable I was with you, and how instantly comfortable you were with me. I love that I can say whatever comes to mind, no matter how ridiculous or inappropriate, and I feel no self-consciousness about anything (though maybe this is a bad thing). But mostly, I love how I feel when I'm with you, when I hold your hand, when I look at you. I love feeling like my heart might burst because it just can't hold it all in, and I love being able to see in your eyes that you feel the same way.<br /><br />I love everything about you and everything about us. I wouldn't change anything. My life is the best it has ever been, and I have you to thank for that. So, thanks.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-66876023520721096302009-10-13T08:51:00.000-07:002011-04-01T19:06:47.265-07:00At least I have my health.As anyone who has been following this blog for any amount of time knows, I lost my job about ten months ago. Since then I have been either unemployed or underemployed, and while I'm now working a 40-hour full-time job, it's a temporary position and I don't know if it's going to amount to anything other than having paid for the Wii I bought a few weeks ago.<br /><br />The first thing I did after starting to do freelance work in March was to look for health care. The coverage that was provided by my former employer was great. It covered just about everything I could want it to cover, and my prescription copays were always very low. I decided that I wanted to stick with the same insurance company that I'd been using for years. I found a website through which I could apply, filled out the application, and sent it in.<br /><br />A few weeks later I heard back: my application had been rejected. The reason had something to do with some doctor's visits I had made almost a year prior, and it didn't make any sense. I wasn't seeing that doctor anymore, so why should it affect my coverage now? So I applied again. This time I tactfully and skillfully left those previous visits to the doctor whom I was no longer seeing off of my application. Was this wrong? Maybe. But I needed insurance, and since I was no longer seeing this doctor, I didn't think it would be a problem. And again, a few weeks later, I received another rejection. No mention was made of the doctor whom I was no longer seeing. This time the reason given was my height and weight. Fun fact about me: I'm 6'5". I carry a little extra weight around my midsection, but I am by no stretch of the imagination obese. I'm a big guy, and I'm built like a big guy. My weight has never been an issue before medically, so why should it be an issue now? I was convinced that, if they could see me, they would have accepted my application.<br /><br />Now I was frustrated. I had seen an ad in the paper for a local insurance agent with the company that I had been applying for coverage from, so I called him. We talked for about an hour and I filled out yet another application and he sent it in for me and told me he would let me know what he heard. So I waited for about a month, maybe more, I don't remember exactly, and then I heard back. Rejected yet again. This time, it was because of a prescription that I've been taking on a daily basis for a while now. In other words, I have a pre-existing condition. I don't see a doctor for this condition. I don't have to undergo expensive medical procedures because of this condition. Once a month I go to the pharmacy and have my prescription refilled, and that is the extent of the care that this pre-existing condition requires. The cost of the prescription without insurance is a little over $100. That's just over $1,200 a year. The premium that I would've been paying to the insurance company would probably have covered most of that. And yet, they wouldn't give me insurance.<br /><br />So I decided to go a different route. Referred by a friend to another website, I filled out another application and was soon contacted by a very friendly woman who helped me compare my options and choose a plan that I could afford and that would cover what I needed. My prescription copay was a little more expensive than it had been before, but I wasn't paying anywhere near the full price so I was fine with it. All was fine with the world. Until this past weekend. I went to pick up my prescription, and my copay had almost doubled from $45 to $83.30. That's just $20 less than the cost of the prescription. Monthly the insurance costs around $140, plus the now $83.30 copay for the prescription, which makes the monthly total around $223.30. It would actually be cheaper for me now to just drop the insurance and pay for the medication out-of-pocket than to continue with it.<br /><br />Since this past weekend I've contacted the woman who helped me set up the insurance, and after doing some digging she informed me that the copay increase wasn't a mistake (as I thought it surely must have been). It's just a tactic of the insurance company's in an attempt to get me to sign up for a mail-order program that is supposedly cheaper than going to the pharmacy. She also mentioned that her own insurance company has been pressuring her to make the switch from pharmacy to mail-order service.<br /><br />I just really don't know what to say about any of this, nor do I pretend to know everything about the current health care debate that is going on around the country. I do know, though, without question, that the current system is broken and that something needs to be done to fix it, and soon. I also know that I hope I don't get sick any time soon.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-17468178757065138372009-08-28T04:50:00.000-07:002011-04-01T19:06:47.268-07:00"Anyone who can't make money on Sports Night should get out of the money-making business."If you ever want to know if a show is going to get cancelled or not, just ask me if I like it, and if I say yes, then you know that it's not long for this world. I have a tendency to get attached to TV shows that end up being cancelled for one reason or another. I'll start watching a show and it will be really good and I will like it a lot, and then it will get cancelled because no one else is watching it.<br /><br />This has been happening for years. Fox's <span style="font-style:italic;">Andy Richter Controls the Universe</span> was a brilliant, imaginative, damn funny series that was cancelled only to be replaced by a show called (I kid you not) <span style="font-style:italic;">The Stupids</span>. The live-action version of <span style="font-style:italic;">The Tick</span> was just as funny and just as cancelled, and while I think that shows like it and <span style="font-style:italic;">ARCTU</span> would survive today, they just didn't have a chance ten years ago. Of course, it's well-documented that Fox doesn't know how to treat new shows. It's truly a miracle that <span style="font-style:italic;">Arrested Development</span> somehow managed to hold on for three seasons. And I'm only talking about shows I watched when they were on the air; there are plenty of other series (<span style="font-style:italic;">Firefly</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">Wonderfalls</span>) that, had I watched them when they were originally aired and not years later on DVD, I would've been crushed when they were violently removed from the schedule after only 11 or 4 episodes, respectively.<br /><br />And it's not just a Fox problem. Over on ABC, they're just as clueless. <span style="font-style:italic;">Sports Night</span> limped through two glorious, low-rated seasons before getting the axe. The <span style="font-style:italic;">Clerks</span> animated series, a direct precursor to the style of humor that Seth McFarlane has run into the ground and easily ten times as funny as the best episode of <span style="font-style:italic;">Family Guy</span>, aired only two episodes before being cancelled. And after debuting its first season with very strong ratings, <span style="font-style:italic;">Pushing Daisies</span> lost its viewership and was canned, though this was not ABC's fault, as <span style="font-style:italic;">PD</span> was a clear casualty of last year's Writer's Strike.<br /><br />This problem that I have is not strictly limited to TV shows. Invariably my favorite comic book series are always the ones that no one reads and that end within a year or two of their start (<span style="font-style:italic;">Hourman</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">Manhunter</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">Gotham Central</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">Nextwave</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">Sleeper</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">Breach</span>...I could go on). Even the toy lines that I collect seem to hobble along until finally they just fade away.<br /><br />It doesn't always end badly, though. NBC's <span style="font-style:italic;">Chuck</span> came close to suffering the same fate as <span style="font-style:italic;">Pushing Daisies</span>, but thankfully was granted a third season, and I couldn't be happier. I think, though, that that's the most stressful part of watching TV for me at this point: worrying about whether the shows I love are going to get picked up. Sure, we all know <span style="font-style:italic;">The Office</span> isn't going anywhere, and The CW will absolutely never let <span style="font-style:italic;">Smallville</span> die (I will stick with you until the end, Clark, no matter how bad your adventures are), but everything else is up in the air. I love <span style="font-style:italic;">Chuck</span> and I really got into <span style="font-style:italic;">Dollhouse</span> towards the end of the season, and I am ecstatic that both are returning for another season, but I sincerely hope that their ratings improve next year, not only because I want to make sure they can come back for more, but also because I just cannot handle the constant stress of not knowing whether a show I enjoy is going to be unceremoniously killed. When the announcement came that <span style="font-style:italic;">Pushing Daisies</span> had been pulled from the schedule, I was sad, but I have to admit I was also a little relieved. I had closure, and no matter how heart-broken I was, I could at least move on. I suppose watching these constantly on-the-bubble TV shows is a lot like being in a really unstable relationship.<br /><br />And yet I'm magnetically drawn to these shows, for one reason or another. Sure, they hurt you sometimes, but the good times are so good that it more than makes up for the bad. At least, that's what I tell myself. Really I think I might just be a glutton for punishment.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-72607560216474978702009-08-27T04:53:00.000-07:002011-04-01T19:06:47.269-07:00Eradicator!It's TV Week over on <a href="http://bonsoircanard.blogspot.com/">The Collective</a>, and in <a href="http://bonsoircanard.blogspot.com/2009/08/these-are-daves-i-know-i-know-these-are.html">yesterday's post</a> Kat mentioned her love of <span style="font-style:italic;">The Kids in the Hall.</span> This led me to reflect on my own enjoyment of those lovable Canadian scamps, and I decided to look up my favorite sketches on the interwebs. So here are three of my favorite Kids in the Hall sketches:<br /><br />3. What's all the hoopla?<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5Dzhx-YpV9g&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5Dzhx-YpV9g&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />2. My favorite zombie chase scene ever.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XSdfiARf1v0&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XSdfiARf1v0&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />1. The Eradicator!<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FJjMAeJxdYw&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FJjMAeJxdYw&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Thirty Helens agree: The Kids in the Hall are awesome.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-88332532498405890252009-06-28T11:22:00.000-07:002011-04-01T19:06:47.272-07:00Death, Threes, and Celebrities ("That was an unfortunate rhyme, but still...")I'd like to talk about something that's very important for a moment. Five days ago, Ed McMahon died. Then, a few days later, both Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson followed suit. Celebrity death comes in threes. This is not news to anyone. It's an odd phenomenon that, whenever one celebrity dies, two more are soon to follow, and it almost always rings true. I say almost, because when David Carradine died, no one else did, but that's neither here nor there.<br /><br />Well, apparently last night or this morning Billy Mays died. Not the soccer player, the pitchman. This is a guy who, whenever he came on TV, always made me turn the volume down because he was just so friggin' loud and so excited about whatever he was selling. The ShamWow and OxiClean are probably his two most famous products, though I would have loved to have seen what he could do with a Snuggie. Alas, though, he's gone.<br /><br />I notice that people are saying, 'Oh no, Billy Mays is gone, who's next in the set of three?' And to this I must object. Is Billy Mays really a celebrity? Sure, people know who he is, but only because he's on TV every twelve minutes telling you who he is and to buy some useless product. Is that the definition of a celebrity? What exactly makes one 'famous'? McMahon, Fawcett, and Jackson all had careers as late-night sidekicks, actors, or musicians. I don't think anyone would question their celebrity status. But is a commercial pitchman, albeit a recognizable one, who doesn't make his own product, whose sole purpose is to get you to call 1-800 number to order what is essentially a knife that will cut pennies, really to be considered a celebrity?<br /><br />I don't have any answer to this question. I really want to know, though, because if Billy Mays is considered a celebrity then I think it's time that we, as a people, rethink the definition of that word. Being a celebrity used to mean something. You had to be John Lennon, Katherine Hepburn, Cary Grant to be a celebrity. Now you just have to be annoying and visible. I suppose that in a world where Paris Hilton, a talentless, unattractive brat whose only defining quality is the fact that she comes from a rich family, and where those two idiots from The Hills (I honestly don't even remember their names, but you know who I'm talking about), are considered celebrities, then the sky's the limit for a guy like Billy Mays. At least he was moderately likable.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-45222360783766109872009-05-23T12:07:00.000-07:002011-04-01T19:06:47.273-07:00We're two grown men with important jobs who are standing in their underwear. Let's sing a song.As a public service to the world, <a href="http://www.tv.com/Sports+Night/show/1614/episode.html?season=1&tag=list_header;paginator;1">here is every episode of <span style="font-style:italic;">Sports Night</span> for you to watch for free online.</a><br /><br />You're welcome.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-66702913889668147482009-05-21T14:49:00.000-07:002011-04-01T19:06:47.275-07:00What man? Which man? Who's the man? When's a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes. Technically, I am.I'm procrastinating right now, and the ladies on <a href="http://bonsoircanard.blogspot.com">The Collective</a> filled out a survey this week. Seeing as I enjoy filling out surveys, and seeing as they're excellent time wasters that don't at all feel like a waste of time until they're over, I thought I'd go ahead and fill it out, too. Here it is.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?</span><br /><br />I have several scars on my fingers that resulted from toy customizing accidents.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">2. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?</span><br /><br />To be finished with my work. And to not have a cold anymore.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">3. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?</span><br /><br />I think I was born around 1:00 AM, but I could be way off. I feel like I missed being born on Valentine's Day by <span style="font-style:italic;">that</span> much.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">4. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?</span><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4Wk65mk5j9I&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4Wk65mk5j9I&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">5. THE BEST TV SHOW EVER CREATED:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Sports Night.</span> Hands down.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">6. THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO?</span><br /><br />I talked to Jennie while she was stuck in traffic on her way home from work. Talking to her is often the only human contact that I have during the day.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">7. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?</span><br /><br />Nope.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">8. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?</span><br /><br />It was probably myself for some reason. I couldn't tell you for sure, though.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">9. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?</span><br /><br />All of them.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?</span><br /><br />I don't have a favorite. Right now my favorite smell is Vick's Vaporub. Mmmmm.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">11. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?</span><br /><br />No preference.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">12. WOULD YOU RATHER BE SMART OR FUNNY?</span><br /><br />You can be smart without being funny, but you can't be funny without being smart, so I would rather be funny, because if I'm funny then the chances are good that I'm also smart.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">13. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?</span><br /><br />Coffee. But not regular coffee. I like froufy coffee with lots of sugar and chocolate and whipped cream and stuff. Judge me if you must.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">14. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?</span><br /><br />You remember the cookies that they used to have at Wendy's? They were big cookies and they were really delicious. I would eat one of those.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">15. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?</span><br /><br />I have no idea. Probably Jennie, though she is hesitant to tell me when she's mad at me.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">16. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?</span><br /><br />Jawohl.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">17. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE?</span><br /><br />*blushes* yeah....<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">18. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?</span><br /><br />No. Funny story, though: I once fell in love knowing that <span style="font-style:italic;">I</span> was leaving. Okay, not really funny so much as awful.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">19. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?</span><br /><br />Hugs.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">20. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?</span><br /><br />Bad drivers.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">21. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE U.S.?</span><br /><br />Yes.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">22. YOUR WEAKNESSES?</span><br /><br />Kryptonite. Canada. Vintage toys.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">23. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?</span><br /><br />I would not have this done. I prefer nature the way it is.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">24. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?</span><br /><br />The Collective tells me what to think.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">25. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?</span><br /><br />I used to be, but I'm not anymore, though I sort of hope that I'll never have to ask anyone out again.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">26. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?</span><br /><br />My height, which is great, since I work so hard at being tall! Seriously, people. I know I'm a giant. Get over it.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">27. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?</span><br /><br />Continue living my life as if nothing had changed.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">28. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?</span><br /><br />None right now, thank you.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">29. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?</span><br /><br />My first name is my dad's middle name. I don't know who he was named after.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">30. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?</span><br /><br />My eyes regularly water if the Sun is in my eyes for any sort of period of time. So probably the last time I looked in the direction of the Sun.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">31. ANY BAD HABITS?</span><br /><br />I'm a collector. I will go on little sprees where I try to buy up as many of one type of thing as possible (usually it's toys, but sometimes it's comics).<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">32. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?</span><br /><br />I would like to think so.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">33. DO YOU KNOW ANYONE FAMOUS?</span><br /><br />A few people, yes, of varying degrees of celebrity.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">34. DO LOOKS MATTER?</span><br /><br />Everything matters. It really just depends on <span style="font-style:italic;">how much</span> each thing matters.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">35. HOW DO YOU RELEASE YOUR ANGER?</span><br /><br />I rant sarcastically.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">36. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?</span><br /><br />I simultaneously trust and distrust people immediately. There's a window of a few hours where that happens and then I subconsciously make my decision one way or the other.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">37. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG:</span><br /><br />"Think About It" by Flight of the Conchords.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">38. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?</span><br /><br />Tomorrow.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">39. FAVORITE EXPRESSION?</span><br /><br />"Make it work," as said by a robot of Tim Gunn.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-82523368913399715912009-05-01T13:10:00.000-07:002011-04-01T19:06:47.277-07:00WARNING: This is a post about toys. My next post will be a movie review. You can look forward to that if you don't want to read this one.I was going to give Jennie crap about how she hasn't written on her blog in a week, not really because it bothered me but because I like to give Jennie crap, when I realized that I haven't written on my blog in longer than that, so I thought I would go ahead and write sometime. I'm taking a well-deserved break from writing many many math problems. At some point I will get back to that later on this evening, and then I will be going to help Jennie and Heidi (new character! Jennie's roommate) move from one apartment to another, better one. Awesome.<br /><br />So recently I've been spending my money on toys, which is not a shock to anyone, but the interesting thing is what I've been buying. Ever since I was very young I've been enamored of a series of toys from the '80s called The Super Powers Collection. Considered by many geeks to be the best toyline ever (seriously, ever), this was the first truly comprehensive series of toys dedicated solely to the DC Universe characters. Over the course of three years collectors not only saw figures of Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman, but also of Green Lantern, Dr. Fate, and obscure characters like Mr. Miracle, Plastic Man, and Samurai. Each figure was a unique sculpt, and very, very detailed. There are a couple of websites devoted to the series - <a href="http://www.toyotter.com/sp">ToyOtter's archive</a> is my favorite, and <a href="http://www.kennersuperpowers.com">Mike Mensinger's site</a> has great stuff on it, too.<br /><br />I've had a collection of these figures loose for years, but a few months ago I decided I wanted to collect them on their cards, too. I love the art on the packages, and pretty much all of the art associated with the series. It's a really clean style, and it reminds me of the art in comics that I read when I was really young and first getting into comics. The whole thing is a nostalgia project for me, but I'm having a great time. Anyway, this morning I took some pictures of my collection, and I thought maybe I'd share them. I don't know if anyone reading this really cares, but I'm pretty proud of it.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/49392741@N00/3491464215/" title="SP1 by ambushbug5, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3355/3491464215_41539d89c5.jpg" width="500" height="400" alt="SP1" /></a><br />Here's my loose collection of all 34 figures in the series, along with one of the figures in his package. On the top shelf is the Hall of Justice, the headquarters of the Superfriends (naturally!), and a carrying case that went with the series of figures. I really like the art on the cover of the carrying case.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/49392741@N00/3492280936/" title="SP2 by ambushbug5, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3364/3492280936_275873104a.jpg" width="500" height="415" alt="SP2" /></a><br />Here are the figures still in their packages that I've picked up so far. I've got a few more coming, but I really like how these guys look. On the shelf below those is a board game that came out in the '80s that tied in with the series of figures, as well as the Batmobile, which is the first toy from this series that I actually remember receiving as a child. The main thing I remember about it, aside from the fact that it was a birthday gift, was the box. It was so vibrant and it displayed the features of the toy so perfectly. The Batmobile is my single favorite toy from this series.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/49392741@N00/3491464605/" title="SP3 by ambushbug5, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3598/3491464605_60547c28b4.jpg" width="344" height="500" alt="SP3" /></a><br />I've also been collecting items that were related to the series and that showcased the art of the toy line. On the wall is a mail-away poster that was offered with proofs of purchase from the figures. On the top shelf below the poster is a related comic, a mail-away record, and the materials for the Super Powers Fan Club, which are really scarce nowadays, considering that they were offered to kids in the '80s and most kids probably destroyed them. In front of all of that is a series of drinking glasses that came out featuring art from the series. On the far right, next to the Flash glass, is a box that I made that displays the mini-comics that came with each figure from the first two years of the line. Some of my first comics were those mini-comics.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/49392741@N00/3492281316/" title="SP4 by ambushbug5, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3587/3492281316_39568e8d50.jpg" width="500" height="416" alt="SP4" /></a><br />Here's the weird stuff. There was a promotion at Burger King in the '80s that tied in to the toy line. There were four different kid's meal boxes, and four different toys, which were just cups with Superman, Batman, Darkseid (big bad villain), and Wonder Woman for handles. So those are all there. Then there are four VHS tapes bearing the Super Powers label, three of four 'Choose Your Own Adventure' books that also bore the brand (those books are AWESOME, by the way), and three book-and-record sets that were also Super Powers branded. I like the weird stuff because it showcases the art of the series and because, well, it's just weird. I mean, book-and-record sets? How awesome are those!<br /><br />Sometimes when I'm talking about toys Jennie just gives me a sideways look, like I'm from another planet or she has no idea what I'm talking about, and that's totally cool. I know not everyone understands stuff like this. The best explanation I can give is that collecting toys reminds me of my childhood. I have extremely fond memories attached to everything on these shelves, and it makes me happy. I don't know why other people do it, but that's why I do it, anyway. Also, it's just a lot of fun. And it's cheaper than being addicted to drugs or alcohol.<br /><br />Thus ends the geekiest post yet on my blog. More to come? Who knows.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-57885162669614405732009-04-16T17:56:00.000-07:002011-04-01T19:06:47.280-07:00Identity Crisis!About a month ago, on a Friday night, I got a call from my credit card company telling me that my identity had been stolen. Well, they didn't say that exactly, but they asked me to verify some charges that had been made, and I verified that I had, in fact, not made them, which meant that someone else had done so, which meant that my identity had been stolen. No big whoop. I went to the bank the next day and we went over the list of charges (the card that was used was a check card), and they sent the list of fraudulent charges to the boys in Fraud, and I wasn't out a dime. It was actually pretty great how easy it was to fix everything. While I was there I probably could have told them that a bunch of stuff that I'd bought online in the previous week was fake, too, and they wouldn't have had any idea. Except then I would've been essentially stealing my own identity, and committing my own fraud, and the boys in Fraud don't take too kindly to people what commit fraud.<br /><br />A week or so later, packages started arriving. I didn't think anything of this, since I'm a fairly frequent eBay shopper, so I usually have a package or two a week of stuff that I've bought of the old internet. But the packages that were arriving were frequent, and they were things that I hadn't ordered. The first thing I received was a DVD detailing how to become a grant writer and make millions of dollars. I didn't watch it, but I probably should have, seeing as I'm barely making thousands of dollars now, and a million is a lot more than a thousand (I write math problems for a living!). The next thing that came was some make-up. Confession time: being a straight man, I don't wear make-up. I know, it's a shocker. I have worn make-up in the past, but only for the sake of theatre (I'm a straight man, I swear), and never for the fun of it. Okay, there was that costume party that I went to where I wore gold make-up all over my face, but that's it. The make-up that I'd received was age-defying cosmetic make-up, meant to make me look years younger than I am. It was basically Botox in a jar, and if I'd used it I was guaranteed to look like a 15-year-old again, which doesn't sound at all pleasant considering how pimply I was back then.<br /><br />To make a long story short, the thieves who stole my identity, in their infinite wisdom, ordered a bunch of stuff online using my credit card and then had all of the stuff shipped to me. For what purpose, I have no idea. Minor inconvenience, perhaps? It would've been, if I'd had to return any of the stuff that I'd received, but after speaking to the people at the bank I learned that I was under no obligation to do so. So not only did I get all of my money back, but I also received the aforementioned DVD and make-up, plus a box of crappy books from Doubleday (which I not only did not have to pay for but ended up selling at Half-Price Books for a small profit) and a pair of earrings (which I gave to my mom, since Jennie doesn't wear jewelry and my mom really liked them). But my favorite thing that I received was a box from FTD: flowers. What had my identity thief sent me? Had he or she done so out of appreciation for my letting them use my credit card for a day? I opened the box with a great deal of anticipation, and I found a bouquet of lilies and pink roses. They were nice flowers, for sure, so I decided to display them. Unfortunately, not having any sort of a vase in my apartment, I had to make due with a water jug.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/49392741@N00/3449137802/" title="Flowers by ambushbug5, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3560/3449137802_8c988ef30e.jpg" width="415" height="500" alt="Flowers" /></a><br /><br />My favorite part about the flowers, aside from the fact that someone had sent me flowers and that has never happened before (and will probably never happen again), was that they came with a card. What would these dastardly criminals write? Would they reveal anything about their identity, or taunt me with the fact that they would probably never be caught? No. It was something far more touching than that.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/49392741@N00/3449137964/" title="FlowersNote by ambushbug5, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3541/3449137964_f02e7d2024.jpg" width="500" height="445" alt="FlowersNote" /></a><br /><br />Of course you do, you wasted a full day spending my money on useless crap that you didn't even have the brains to have sent to yourself.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-38010375010033931562009-03-07T09:29:00.000-08:002011-04-01T19:06:47.282-07:00A Review of WatchmenBefore I start this review, I thought I would mention, for the three people that don’t already know this about me, that I am a huge comic book fan. I’ve been reading them for most of my life, and I love them. I first read <i>Watchmen</i> when I was in high school, and I enjoyed it, but I didn’t think it was the most amazing thing ever. Then I read it again when I was older and I loved it. There’s a cinematic quality about <i>Watchmen</i> the book that is fairly common in comics now but that I’m sure was astounding at the time of the release of the series. I look at reading <i>Watchmen</i> now like watching <i>Citizen Kane</i> now: you have to consider the time period in which the work was created in order to fully appreciate how ahead of its time it was.<br /><br />So let’s talk about <i>Watchmen</i> the movie. As a movie adaptation that remains faithful to the original book, it was amazing. After years of missteps and averted disasters, and after master filmmaker Terry Gilliam called <i>Watchmen</i> the book <a href="http://www.empireonline.com/News/story.asp?nid=13532">unfilmable</a>, director Zack Snyder has created a near-perfect <i>Watchmen</i> film. Shots were framed to exactly match panels of Dave Gibbons’s nine-panel grid, and dialogue was lifted directly from Alan Moore’s scripts. I expected this of Snyder, though, after <i>300</i> came out and was extremely faithful to its source material (so I’ve been told, as I’ve never seen that nor do I particularly care to). Snyder is a director who respects his source material, and who adheres to it almost fanatically, and that respect shone through on the screen. There were aspects of the book that had to be removed for the sake of time, but overall Snyder managed to pack so much story into just under three hours that I more or less forgave him for it. My favorite part of the film was probably the opening credits, which are spectacular in their simplicity. You can watch them in their entirety <a href="http://motionographer.com/theater/yuco-the-watchmen-titles/">here</a>. Each of the snapshots shown in the credits has a full story behind it, but knowing that full story isn't essential to understanding the movie. Despite the parts of the book that were left out, watching <i>Watchmen</i> the movie was like watching the comic book come to life.<br /><br />So why did I leave the theatre with such an empty feeling?<br /><br />Maybe it’s because, where <i>Watchmen</i> succeeds as an adaptation of a graphic novel, it fails as a movie. <i>Watchmen</i> the book was slow. There’s not a lot of action in the book. It’s mainly about character development and the relationships between them. Therefore, there’s not a lot of action in the movie. Unfortunately, though, a lot of the wonderful character development that makes the book so enjoyable is lost in the translation to the screen because of time limitations. As a result, I had a hard time relating to any of the characters in the movie, which is strange, since I already had a relationship with them as a result of having read the comic.<br /><br />When the film ended, I just sat there. I had no idea what to say. Sometimes that’s a good thing, but this time I really wanted to have something to say. The story of the film was exactly the same as that of the book, but I didn’t think it had the same impact on the screen as it does in the book because I didn’t feel any attachment to any of the characters. The performances were all very good, save for that of the actor playing Ozymandias, who couldn’t seem to decide if he wanted his character to have an accent or not and so decided to have it both ways, which was distracting, especially during Ozy’s monologues towards the end of the film. The film was very well made. It was well-acted and well-shot. The choices of music were brilliant. And yet I still felt like it was all a little flat. I needed to connect to the characters, and I could not. I found them fascinating, but not relatable. I go to the movies because I want to feel something, and I didn’t feel anything when <i>Watchmen</i> ended.<br /><br />All of that said, I’m still extremely conflicted about the whole thing. I thought that writing down my thoughts would help me to sort them out, and it did, to a degree, but I still don’t know what conclusion to come to. I <i>think</i> I enjoyed the movie. I really do. But I think I enjoyed it mainly because of what a faithful adaptation of the book it was and because of how well-made it was, not because any of the characters were engaging or because of the pace of the story. As a book, <i>Watchmen</i> is still a masterpiece. As a movie, <i>Watchmen</i> reaches for the stars but falls just a little short.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-11808940062787369652009-03-02T05:39:00.000-08:002011-04-01T19:06:47.284-07:00Missed It By *That* MuchBack in 2004, it was announced that Conan O'Brien would be leaving NBC's <span style="font-style:italic;">Late Night</span> to replace Jay Leno as the host of <span style="font-style:italic;">The Tonight Show</span>. This was a huge deal for me, as I spent many a night in the '90s and nearly all of the nights of the '00s up until that point falling asleep while watching Conan. I was excited for him to move to <span style="font-style:italic;">The Tonight Show</span>, where I would be more likely to stay awake for the whole show.<br /><br />I was also concerned about who would be taking the reins of <span style="font-style:italic;">Late Night</span>. For weeks I thought and I thought about who should take over that job, until I came to the perfect solution. The person who took over as host would have to be comfortable performing in front of a live audience, be able to think on his or her feet, and be able to work with a staff to write new material five days a week. So who better to do that than someone who was already doing that on another NBC show, one <span style="font-style:italic;">Saturday Night Live</span>? After all, early in his career Conan was a writer for <span style="font-style:italic;">SNL</span>. It made sense that Lorne Michaels would pick from that tree again to find a new host for <span style="font-style:italic;">Late Night</span>.<br /><br />My favorite segment on <span style="font-style:italic;">SNL</span> has always been Weekend Update. It just made sense to me that one of the anchors of Weekend Update should become the new host of <span style="font-style:italic;">Late Night</span>. Think about it: writing for Weekend Update is basically like writing a monologue for a late-night talk show. My decision was made. The person I selected to replace Conan was qualified. This person was intelligent, was able to improvise, and, most importantly, was really damn funny. The choice was clear.<br /><br />Tina Fey would replace Conan O'Brien.<br /><br />It was (and still might be) the best idea I had ever had in my entire life. It made perfect sense, and it would be groundbreaking - the first female host of a late-night talk show. You have to remember, too, that this was in the days before Barack Obama. It was 2003 - the 2004 Democratic National Convention, Obama's star-making moment, hadn't even happened yet. The idea of a woman taking over a high-profile hosting job formerly occupied by a man was, at the time, akin to the idea of an African-American becoming President of the United States. It was ahead of its time. But I was set on it. If anyone could do it, Tina Fey could do it. I was convinced that she would knock it out of the park. Tina Fey was change I could believe in.<br /><br />I attempted to rally people to the cause. I told all of my friends about the idea, and they naturally agreed with me. I decided that the best way to ensure that this brilliant idea came to fruition would be to begin a grass-roots campaign. Just as Barack Obama's presidential campaign utilized the internet to raise funds, I would turn to the internet to garner support for my idea. And thus, <a href="http://www.petitiononline.com/tina2009/petition.html"><span style="font-style:italic;">Late Night with Tina Fey</span> in 2009</a> was born. The petition was a sensation, earning itself 120 signatures. Surely that would be enough to convince the NBC bosses that Tina Fey was the right woman for this job.<br /><br />Of course, a lot can happen in five years. How was I to know that Tina would leave <span style="font-style:italic;">SNL</span> to create and star in her own show, the completely hilarious <span style="font-style:italic;">30 Rock</span>? But still, even after that happened, part of me hoped that the show would fail in time for Tina to embrace her true destiny: as the heir to the <span style="font-style:italic;">Late Night</span> throne. As the show continued on and proved itself to be both wildly entertaining and moderately successful, I saw my idea slip away. It was sobering, but I accepted it. Conan would still be on <span style="font-style:italic;">The Tonight Show</span>, and Tina was doing well on her own. I was sure that whoever they chose to host <span style="font-style:italic;">Late Night </span>would be a fine selection.<br /><br />That was when the rumors started. And then it was confirmed. Jimmy Fallon would be the new host of <span style="font-style:italic;">Late Night</span>.<br /><br />A little piece of me died when that was announced. Jimmy Fallon might be the most unfunny person on the planet. He has no on-camera charisma. He's not smart. He couldn't write his way out of a wet paper bag. This is who they chose? The guy who laughed in the middle of every sketch he was ever in?<br /><br />Alas. <span style="font-style:italic;">Late Night with Tina Fey</span> was not meant to be. Perhaps some day America will be ready for a female late-night talk show host. In the meantime, I look forward to tonight, when <span style="font-style:italic;">Late Night with Jimmy Fallon</span> premieres. Maybe, if the world is lucky, a light will fall on Jimmy Fallon's head, knocking something loose in his brain, and he will suddenly become funny. The odds of that are unlikely, though. It's more likely that he'll crash and burn harder than anyone on television has ever crashed and burned. I think I'd enjoy seeing that, too.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1383249026112922391.post-65197183952068552072009-01-29T10:46:00.000-08:002011-04-01T19:06:47.286-07:00Unemployment, Day 30: LOSTLast week Jennie and I watched the season premiere of LOST. Jennie has been watching the show from the beginning, while I had never seen an episode before in my life. Strangely, the two of us seemed to have about the same understanding of what was going on (though that was nice, because it made me feel smart, or something). Having watched three episodes of the series now, I can safely say a few things about it.<br /><br />Thing #1: I love the crap out of it. I like it because it makes no sense at all, and because the few characters that I've met are interesting and entertaining. I'm eventually going to go back and watch the whole series, but for now I'm really enjoying being confused (though, based on conversations that I've had with other people who watch the show, even if I go back to the beginning, I'm still going to be confused).<br /><br />Thing #2: Jennie likes it a lot, and I enjoy watching her reaction to it. She gasped no fewer than three times during the episode we watched last night. During the premiere last week, the utter confusion on both of our faces was very amusing. As enjoyable as the show is, watching it with someone that is invested in it and clearly enjoys it as much as Jennie does makes it even more entertaining.<br /><br />Thing #3: I think Grant Morrison is secretly behind the whole series. A button you have to push every 108 minutes in order to save the world? An island that (spoiler alert!) moves through time at apparently random intervals? And that's just the stuff I've seen! The only other thing that I know about is the polar bear (A POLAR BEAR?!), but I don't know how or why it's on the island. Whatever the reason, though, only a mad genius, a practicing magician, a former hallucinogenic drug user, and the author of ANIMAL MAN could be behind this, and luckily we get all four of those things in Grant Morrison. I'm telling you now, if you watch LOST and you've never read anything by Grant Morrison, you should check him out.<br /><br />So those are my thoughts on LOST. With more to come, I'm sure.Joe G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14190700619730405910noreply@blogger.com1