Unemployment, Day 14: What I Did on My Unemployment Vacation

At 5:04 today, I plan to drink a toast to The Mazer Corporation, for it was two weeks ago today that the following e-mail went out to all of its employees:

From: david_mazer@mazer.com
Date: Tue, 30 Dec 2008 17:03:56 -0500
Conversation: Creative Services Closure
Subject: Creative Services Closure

12/30/2008

To: Our Employees
From: David Mazer, CEO
Re: Closure

Please be advised that there are on-going negotiations with a potential buyer of the Creative Services Division. As of the end of the day today, all Creative and Corporate employees are terminated. We hope that the business will be reconstituted with a new owner who may ask you to return as early as next week.

The Mazer Corporation began 44 years ago and has provided service to the community of Dayton, its employees, customers, suppliers, and the youth of America since that time. A combination of events in the publishing market and the state of the general economy has taken their toll on Mazer Corporation. The Mazer Family still believed in the company's potential and recently increased its investment to continue operations but could not secure additional future funding.

Sincerely,

David Mazer
CEO
The Mazer Corp.

It's important to note that the second paragraph is more or less a form paragraph that was included in an e-mail that went out not ten minutes earlier informing employees that the Printing Services Division of the company was shutting down. It's also important to note the complete lack of any sort of human emotion evident in the e-mail. This simply reinforces my long-held thought that David Mazer is, in fact, a cyborg, sent from the future to kill John Connor and to screw the employees of The Mazer Corporation with their pants on.

Honestly, I'm not bitter. I'm not even a little angry. I'm mostly just amused that it happened the way that it happened. Also, that Mavericks, the comic book store I have been frequenting for the better part of my life and that is run by an insane old man who seems to be doing everything in his power to run the store into the ground, outlasted The Mazer Corporation. Bravo, Mavericks. Bravo. And bravo to you, Mazer Corporation. Your dedication to screwing your employees at the eleventh hour knows no bounds.

Days that I have been unemployed: 14
Jobs that I have applied for: 7
Jobs that I actually wanted from those that I applied for: 1
Jobs that have been offered to me: 0
Days on which I have gotten out of bed at 10:00 AM or later: 4
Days on which I have showered at 4:00 PM or later: 1
Days on which I have not showered at all: 0 (but give it time)
Days on which I have compulsively cleaned my apartment: 3
Movies I have watched: 5
Books I have read: 1
Comics that I have read: dozens
Parties I have hosted: 1
Fun I have had during my two weeks of unemployment: a lot

Tomorrow, I'll talk about all of the problems that this abrupt closure has caused, and about all of the things that the Mazers did wrong (spoiler alert: there are many, many things).